You know the kind of week I’m talking about. The overwhelmingly busy ones… The weeks filled with shuttling kids to and from practice, preparing meals, answering emails, booking doctors appointments, and so much more.
The weeks where your husband needs a shirt ironed before work and one of the kids forgot to do three math problems that are due that morning. Drop off, pick up, repeat.
The weeks that feel cramped, tight, and restricting.
How many of us are caught in this stage of life? How many of us are running at this pace?
At the end of the day, I know I’ve felt a little empty at times—even though my schedule was so full.
We all want more time to read favorite books with our children, to bake together in the kitchen, to snuggle up for movie night, and to tell more stories about our loved ones. We all want less time spent on things of little significance… But how?
Not long ago, with the the new school year around the corner, I was anxious to squeeze in one more outing before putting the freedom of summer behind us. Having just moved to North Dakota, we set out to explore our state by visiting Theodore Roosevelt National Park.
This park is praised as a hidden gem among national parks. It’s out of the way and thus, not as busy as most national parks tend to be. We didn’t know what to expect, since we’re so used to the mountainous parks of Alberta, Canada. I didn’t know if the flat prairie would appeal to me as much or if we’d find much to do.
The things I was hesitant about turned out to be exactly what I loved about this beautiful place. Being able to explore a nature trail together—uninterrupted by the noise of cars and void of other humans for miles at a time—was refreshing.
I let my eyes wander all the way to the horizon, and I immediately felt my lungs fill with air—almost as if I hadn’t really breathed in the weeks before that moment. I saw my kids’ shoulders loosen up and their smiles reach their eyes.
Theodore Roosevelt National Park was a sanctuary, a chance to step away from the busy and into a slower pace. A place to reconnect, find quiet and stillness, and enjoy the wide open space as a family.
We watched wild horses graze and gallop and be free. We went for a drive at dusk to look for buffalo and were enthralled when we came across an entire herd that we could barely make out in the early darkness.
We stopped the car in the middle of the quiet road as the herd crossed directly in front of us. With our windows rolled down, we listened to these enormous animals breathing and saw their warm breath steaming in the cool evening air.
From within my car, I heard, “Wow!” and “Look at that, Mom!” But I also heard utter silence as we stared, awe-struck at this majestic scene.
The truth is, the space—the margin—in our lives doesn’t just happen. We have to make it. We have to be intentional. Sometimes we have to fight for it. We fight against societal norms to be busy, to have a packed calendar. We fight against our own urge to keep up with those around us. And we fight for our family and our kids and what we know is best for them.
We all need room to run through prairie grass and let the wind blow through our hair. We need to take in the golden sunset and wrap our arms around the little bodies that are too quickly growing out of them.
Whether you’re looking for literal wide open spaces or metaphorical ones, I hope these 10 ideas help you clear more breathing room in your family’s life. Because it is so worth it.
10 Ideas to Help You Clear More Breathing Room in Your Family’s Life
1. Look for small pockets of time
I get that it’s not plausible to just quit commitments and clear out your family’s schedule. But you can still be mindful of small windows of time; you can relish the “space” you find when you’re looking for it. Enjoy a nap, a few minutes of quiet time or reading, or a moment of snuggles on the couch with a little one.
I am the queen of power naps. When I find myself lagging throughout the day, these little naps are just the pick-me-up I need. I set my phone alarm for twelve minutes. Twelve! It’s just enough time for me to rest my eyes but wake up refreshed, not groggy.
2. Learn to say no without guilt
Remember that in saying YES to something outside of your home and family, you have to say NO to something else. This is a lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way. Through over-commitments and sheer exhaustion, I’ve realized how much I can take on and what I can’t.
“You can do anything, but not everything.”
3. Turn off your phone
Designate a specific time each day (maybe at dinner) where the phones go away and you talk together, distraction-free.
4. Wake up a few minutes early
Even if it’s just a few minutes, this makes all the difference in starting my day off on the right foot. This is when I put myself in the right frame of mind to greet my children and mentally prepare for the morning rush. These few minutes to breathe have helped make me a happier mom.
5. Write in a journal
Few things re-ground me like writing in a journal. It’s a powerful way to free up space in your mind.
If you want to extend the benefits of journaling to your child and connect more with him or her in the process, try a shared journal.
6. Take some “me” time
Filling yourself up will make more room for others. {18 Ways to Treat Yourself with More Love}
7. Savor the small moments
Life doesn’t have to be filled with luxury vacations and gourmet meals. A trip to Target alone can feel luxurious; a nature walk with the kids is exciting. There’s beauty in a “small” life.
8. Shift your perspective; get a bird’s-eye view of your life
In Theodore Roosevelt National Park, I felt my priorities click back into place while standing on top of a hill, following the gentle flow of a river with my eyes.
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” John Lubbock
9. Be protective of your family’s down time
Fiercely protective. For meaningful conversations to come to the surface, we need to have time to do nothing. For those small moments of connection to happen, we need to be in tune and ready for them. Down time is key.
“When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.” unknown
10. Make time for nature
A simple walk through the trees, a family camping trip, or a solo hike. There is much to be learned out in the beauty of nature, and often taking that walk is exactly what I need to help me slow down and really see the beauty that is around me.
What specific things are you doing lately to discover more breathing room for you and your family?
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Amazing ideas. It makes me want to do something outside today! My husband and I have tried to be more intentional with our weekends. We wrote a big list of all the things we want to explore in our area and have been just checking them off our list each weekend. We plan things out and then do them. It has allowed us to go camping, go on hikes, explore D.C. and take some weekend trips when we normally would be just sitting around at home watching football or something. It has been amazing and only takes a little planning.