Years ago, when my kids’ internet use didn’t extend beyond a handful of reading and coloring apps, I couldn’t have imagined how complicated it would become to keep them safe online.
I imagined that I’d need to use internet filters to protect them from seeing unwanted images, and I figured I’d keep them away from social media for as long as possible.
But beyond that, I didn’t have a real grasp on the impact the internet can have on kids—if left unchecked.
Now that some of my four kids are into their teens, I know better.
I know that games are designed to keep kids online for far more hours than could ever be considered healthy. I know that if it’s up to them, many kids will gladly trade screen time for time spent with friends, family, and the great outdoors. {Trade Screen Time for Green Time}
I know that it’s not just inappropriate images that can harm our kids; even relatively innocuous pictures and videos can cause our kids to draw unfavorable comparisons that eat away at their self-worth.
But I also see the good that the internet brings into their lives.
I love that because of the internet, we have answers at our fingertips. When we come home from a family hike and are wondering about the rock formations we saw earlier in the day, within moments we can be learning about geology and history at once.
When my children discover a role model they can look up to—whether it’s a talented sports figure or an actress who speaks up for a cause—we can dive in deep and learn from these people’s experiences.
And whenever we need a dose of spiritual inspiration, incredible resources are only a few clicks away.
It’s a balancing act—an important-but-difficult line to walk, as parents.
This is why I’m so on board with Google’s Be Internet Awesome campaign and am happy to join them in celebrating Safer Internet Day.
5 Important Ways to Keep Our Kids Safe Online
1. Let’s encourage our kids to think not just about what they view online but how much time they’re giving away.
The first thing my husband and I have always tried to do is to show our kids that there’s a big, beautiful world out there for them to experience. We’ve prioritized travel and adventure—from mountain biking to hiking to snowshoeing—to help them catch the vision for an amazing life outside of screen time.
2. Let’s lead by example and do our best to keep our own screen use in check.
I’ve recently been setting screen time limits on my own phone, and I’m always conscious of how much eye contact I’m giving my phone versus my children. I want to make sure I’m giving so much more to the latter.
3. Let’s delay our kids’ ventures into social media, allowing their brains as much time as possible to develop before diving in.
Research shows that the frontal lobe—the part of the brain responsible for impulse control—doesn’t fully develop until youth are out of the teens. My goal as a mom is to give my kids as much time as possible for their brains to develop before they start wading into the difficult waters of social media, which often cause teens to draw unfavorable comparisons in their minds and has been correlated with loneliness, anxiety, and depression in our youth.
{Related: Kindness Online: 3 Conversations to Have with Our Tweens & Teens}
4. Let’s teach them that privacy online is an illusion.
I want my kids to know that nothing they write, share, or post online ever truly goes away. Even if a post is deleted, it can still be accessed by someone who knows how. On top of that, all it takes is a click or two for something you’ve shared to be forwarded on to someone else—a situation that too often leads to hurt feelings and loss of trust.
5. Let’s practice an open-door policy with family devices.
Our kids know that family devices are just that—family devices. Our children may have the privilege of using them, but they don’t own them. And as such, we as their parents have the right to regularly read through texts, social media comments—anything. In our home, this openness has often led to great discussions about our kids’ friendships and their social presence online.
Come Together for a Better Internet with your family by visiting Be Internet Awesome. A great place to start is with the brand-new Family Guide. You can even challenge your kids to put their skills to the test with the Interland game at g.co/Interland. Enjoy!
I always learn so much from you guys and would love to hear—What else are you doing to stay open and transparent as a family and to keep your kids safe online?
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You make so many great points. This is a whole new ground for us parents in this tech age and we can’t just ignore it.
Most importantly teach them that ‘privacy online is an illusion’. I like that and it’s so true. The internet never forgets, so before they click share, hey should really be sure it is something they want to put out there and be proud of.